The quintessential perfectionist

 Woke up feeling great! Like the sun rays coupled with a gentle breeze, there's optimism lurking in every corner. I have sat down and had a conversation with my mom and grandma on how being in the right place is a state of mind rather than something determined by outside forces. I came to the realisation that I am very much sensitive to the words of others around me, their thoughts, their beliefs, and their energies. Any word spoken by them can lead my thoughts to spiral out of control and think of all that can go right or wrong. My grandmother has mentioned something sexist and it irritated me noticeably, despite it not being intentional. I am very passionate about women's rights. I feel awful for sometimes not being able to speak up against sexist practices when I hear people bring them up, but it takes an immense mental toll on me that I freeze and try to remove myself from the conversation. I think misogyny and violence against women is the root cause of why I feel unsettle...

 A few days in Jordan.  A sense of ease and yet a feeling of separation. Longing. Craving. How do I make sense of it? Dasha wrote something along the lines of  "Living with your heart scattered across the earth means every parting somewhere is a coming together somewhere else." I feel like everytime I say a goodbye to a place, I tuck away a version of myself into a hidden psyche, hoping that in a few months I will able to bring her back to life. She dies, however. She is gone. Forgotten. Tucked away into oblivion. For every time I visit a place, a people, a collective consciousness, she is touched, becoming unpure. Out in the open. Wilderness. Me. Taken away and battered, challenged, questioned. A few days in Amman. I have been taking care of myself. For the past few days, things have been hectic. Reuniting with your family is never a bad thing, especially when it means that I get to rejoice in the rich aroma of home cooked food. I'm learning. Thriving. Growing.  I b...